Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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