so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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