Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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