My liver just broke up with me...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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