yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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