it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
