You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
