I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
