If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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