Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
