hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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