Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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