We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize