We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
