I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
