then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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