bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
