I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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