how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
