Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
