: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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