Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
