Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
