woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
