So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
