your room smells of hookers.
And success
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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