My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize