Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When are your genitals available?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
