wakey wakey hands off snakey
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
