No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
