Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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