I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
