youre lurking in front of me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
