OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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