How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
