Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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