It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize