atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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