the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We are all done wearing pants today
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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