Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
