There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
