I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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