great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
