i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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