he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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