Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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