i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
