This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize