Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
These tits shall not be calmed
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
