i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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