Is it because I queefed?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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