One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
