im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
