I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I sprained my soul last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
