somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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