Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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